September

I must admit I only seem to blog when feeling sorry for myself,it's a strange concept to blog"I know I should blog when I feel upbeat and optimistic but lately life has been full of struggles again it seems and I know that for many people.I have had to use a few pain killers more and they have the side effect of making me depressed or perhaps making me realise what makes me sad,I am amused I can still as an artist as a dancer hide from the public my misery and folks will say what a cheerful painting,when inside Im tormented,sometimes.
So what torments me?mostly my inability to be mobile and being in pain, but I've also lost an awful lot of friends who have turned away for various reasons to long to go into here but in the main if I was still fit and healthy I would be fun to be around,I think they think!As a dancer I had one life, for me it is before and after my two lives bare no relationship to each other,as I have to rest" so much little things mean a great deal and when people don't do what I hoped they would or they told me they would or used to do, and that's mostly talk to me! I feel very lonely and downcast
Im grateful for many many things in my life and Im so grateful folks talk to me about my painting,because with out that my life would be very dull indeed, thank you for looking, take care